Nona dolorosa, mate: Mutt's Weblague

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:09:48 GMT

Charly! Charly! Look! They're lighty like deep-sea fishies!

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-30

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 01:11:13 GMT

I just generated my #SweetCloud out of all the sweets I wish I could eat. Top three sweets: peanut KitKat Chunky, Double Decker, dark Bounty #
Cannibalism!!!1! RT @derivadow: @R4isStatic comments on their way, once i've cooked, eaten and sorted out @felixscott #
Just finished #Sankmarray part two woop woop woop! #nanowrimo total at 31680. Not a win, but not an epic fail – I'm quite happy. #
I got some nice live feedback from @Anke as she read the opening of Part Two. There's still time to join the test-readering fun! #sankmarray #
Is struck by how nicely Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head would mash up with A Lover's Concerto by Toys. Minimal tweaking required. #
Monkey Dust gold for @semanticist – http://bit.ly/2vCSwW http://bit.ly/E9jXe http://bit.ly/8OyOKG #
RT @isntit: Why do all the fun debates happen just as I check my tweets before bed? Arse. Will have to bail. Nighty night everyone. #

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does the pirate dance

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:57:59 GMT

Alluring Swiper realised now that attacking an entire crew of pirates had been somewhat ambitious.
Sankmarray: Clouded Hearts (section two of about five). © 2009 Herm Baskerville, all rights reserved.

In other words: Part Two is complete, yay!

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-29

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:15:53 GMT

#vss We leapt out of the lander, frustration at having been cooped up keeping our trigger fingers pumping. The natives never stood a chance. #
#vss "What'd I say wrong, Beth?" whinged Jock the social media consultant as he left. "The past participle of tweet is NOT twat," she said. #
#vss Turns out "human yoyo" sounded better on paper. He passed out before I started winding his duodenum round him. Disappointing. #
30,690 words! I'm thinking I'll send Part Two out tomorrow to those alpha readers who sent feedback for Part One. #sankmarray #nanowrimo #
Mmmm... dog food... #
Oh, this can go on the Xmas playlist. Trans Siberian Orchestra ft Metallica, "Carol of the Bells". #
Oooooh, another nice winter track! Fleet Foxes, White Winter Hymnal: http://bit.ly/my5Cy And not forgetting, of course: http://bit.ly/5WV4pv #
Spineshank's "New Disease". Get in! Tuuuuuune! #

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-28

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:16:11 GMT

Looks like I can't make #beebcamp after all, too much work on. Extremely disappointing but have fun without me, folks! #
At least I have a Graze box with fresh fruit, nuts and yumminess in it. Nom nom nom. Get one free at http://www.graze.com using the code X88MR59W. #
A little MSDOS savvy yet again proving its worth. One quick "dir /s *.jpg" saving my coworkers a lot of hassle. #
I really, really need it to be the weekend right now, but both my sites really, really need me to remain here until approx. Sunday. :D #
Am sure my colleagues are as stressed as I am. I'm not sufficiently sadistic toward any of my coworkers that this counts as a comfort. #
Calming down... somewhat. Still got some pages to launch once they're signed off. Then I can go home and sleep for 48h. #

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"I found my mantra, Master Sprinter."

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:39:26 GMT

Brrrr. I'm either ill or just vaguely run down after this week, which has been kind of a doozy. Last night I was completely out of it, and I mean unable to talk, let alone do anything else; symptoms that, when I flipped back through my mental notebook, I found next to a pencilled annotation reading "←Stress?"

I hope taking it sedentary over this weekend will get me back on my feet, but the cold weather isn't helping. I don't want to go for walks or do anything but huddle with hot water bottles. I definitely hope I won't be ill-definedly sickish all this winter, because the novelty there wears off fast, I can tell you from experience.

NaNoWriMo writing has completely stalled. I won't make the 50k, that's a given, but I'll easily get to 30k over the weekend. Heck, just writing up what I've handwritten on my tram journeys should take care of that.

All that's still to go on Part Two, after transcribing my own handwriting, is some wrapping up on Taupeshank's side. Taupe needs to realise in what ways pe's been rather silly, while Alluring... well. Let's face it. Alluring Swiper isn't learning any Important Moral Lessons any time soon. Alluring considers nerself far too fabulous for Important Moral Lessons.

Lest anyone accuse me of writing only heroes I agree with 100%, this section features binge drinking, the afore-alluded ass-headedness and a downright fist fight. Part Three features FIRE! Also bribery, but mainly FIRE. (Could fire really be a problem on a planet that's 95% water? You bet.)

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News and other stuff mini-trawl

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:34:55 GMT

Found a cool new real-time blog, like the Dracula one but non-fiction.

Lolz, we're gonna pwn the Antarctic!

Dog 'saves' sleep condition woman

Ooh, here's one for the wishlist next to Cold Reading by Ian Rowland...

And now, Windows tips via someone on Yammer.

Clicking Start > Run (or pressing Windows key + R if, like me, you are a keyboard man) and typing the abbreviation "clipbrd" will bring up the clipboard viewer.

Clicking Start > Run and typing "flipbrd" will bring up a picture of Bill Gates giving you the finger.

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-27

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 01:05:22 GMT

I have found a place that sells Lychee Rubicon. They can expect a lot more of my custom from now on. #
No fair! The [NE] flag isn't fixing an anchor redirect issue. Apache docs said it would. http://bit.ly/anchorredirects #mod_rewriteisvoodoo #
#vss All she did was walk past a Krispy Kreme shop. Just walk past! And despite her protestations that she didn't inhale, she gained 4lbs. #
#vss I knew consultancy for Mind-Reading Inc. would be a mistake. They ripped the designs from my brain and didn't pay a penny! #
RT @Plip: Happy Genocide against the Native Population Day Americans. :) #
Wondering if my preference in Celebrations chocolates makes me feminine or masculine. Get a grip! It does neither, it makes you fat! #
Gulliver references FTW! RT @ridiculant Blog post: Dear Mandy: complaining to Peter Mandelson through the power of song http://bit.ly/6F3Tsn #

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Piper's correspondence: STOpp tehiss MADNesssSS

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:23:20 GMT

der MeIMuy

hermunn kepes saing thatt itt iz ripplasing mee with thISS!!!

fillthee narsty thingg NOT CUET

STOpp tehiss INN SANNITY at WUNC!

ey amm teh oanlii gUD & Clevar & FIERSE HUNTinng KATT enywon neeeds!!!

thatt isnt evin a KATtt!!!!!!

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-26

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:00:08 GMT

Am I imagining things or is this text different sizes? Always willing to accept the possibility that I'm crazy...but Firebug isn't! #cssfail #
If I had my camera, I'd twitpic the note that's on top of the microwave. #
#vss "My character was raised by wolves." "Don't tell me – he has wolf powers." "No, he dies of malnutrition at 23." "Realism win, dude!" #
MY BROTHER JUST PHONED ME UP TO RICKROLL ME. #
His expressions while he listens to music are like interpretive dance. I asked him once: he said off notes physically pain him! #vss #autism #

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Sankmarray bloopydoo

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:41:50 GMT

Recent happenings in Sankmarray: Treachery! Spooning (and forking and knifing)! More treachery! Wacky biological processes! All-out desperate unarmed combat! Also, treachery!

I'm getting pretty attached to Roseeye, the lieutenant character. Taupe likes pim a lot.

Sankmarray:CH Part Two is nearly finished in my notebook and should be typed up soon (within a couple of days; then again, I've thought that for about a week... :P).

Anyone wanting to read it, send in your feedbackz for Part One! (Unless you've already emailed me, of course.)

I'm not going to make the 50k words within the month (am just off 30k currently, not including what's handwritten), but I'm convinced the complete novel will exceed the 60k total I had vaguely in mind. After all, Part Two looks like breaking 30k, and there's much more plot to come.

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-25

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:04:04 GMT

#vss Dear Mom and Dad. Have borrowed the leaf blower, cat and roll of duct tape. I'll be home when I'm an internet hero. Love, Sandy xx #
I have a banana. Someone just gave me a banana. This makes me inordinately happy. #
If you ever get an urge to go "...eeew...." then go and see if archive.org has a cached copy of dolphinsex.org. (NSFW! NSFRSPCA!) #
Wants to hear Steps perform @jonathancoulton's Still Alive. It reminds me of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oek0U5a2h7s #

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"And this is why goalkeepers get all the puddytats" news trawl

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:27:48 GMT

Pet labrador which 'knew train timetable' dies (shut up, it is not a slow news day!1!)

Read the original story too, linked in the sidebar. That signalman is after my own heart.

Police making arrests 'just to gather DNA samples'

Colours, sounds and moving objects

HIV infections and deaths fall as drugs have impact

The worldwide stats are really interesting.

Grandmother monkeys care for baby

I bet this guy is the new football sex symbol. Ladies?

NOM!

This article also wins for coining a slightly more disturbing variant of "it's not rocket science":

"We're not building an atomic bomb," he points out. "You just have to use the right quantities, and the right ingredients."

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Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:28:12 GMT

Best. Sign. Ever. (via someone on Yammer)

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-24

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:02:26 GMT

Pro Juventute calls for teabagging your frags to be declared a war crime (via @bbctech) http://bit.ly/5GndVn #
Hey! I am not open and highly neurotic!!1! OMG, everyone will haet meee11! (What's your Big Personality? Find out...) http://bit.ly/6Mgwo7 #
Is sure someone will kill me for one of my puns someday. #
Ordering our article lists logically. Namings should come before weddings, before funerals. (Except for me, who'll marry over my dead body.) #
Tonight on #Sankmarray: "Been wanting to punch you for days!" Action scenes :S I think I'm better at dialogue/character humour... #nanowrimo #

#vss "I wish this dog were a man." Nothing changed. "I'm all man, baby," said the dog. "I meant a human man!" "Shoulda been more specific." #
#vss Her lips were warm and wet on his bare skin. "Mmmm. Clean sheets, clean man." "Clean man thinking very dirty thoughts," Suitov grinned. #

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WC reading news trawl

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:04:55 GMT

On trams too, please!

(If someone were to give me a Wave Bubble for Christmas, chances are high that I'd wuv them forever for months.)

Mussolini's 'brain and blood for sale on internet' – presumably to frustrated commuters for vodou purposes

Astronaut on space shuttle Atlantis becomes a father – more impressive if it was "becomes a mother"...

Galileo gives Church the finger from a Florence museum. Wait, did I read that right?

Iraqi children attend a pretend maths class

On the Origin of Faeces

(Hel yes I went there.)

Captions <3

And finally, fabbydabbydoo pictures of nature pwnage.

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-23

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:11:56 GMT

Watching a search&rescue #dogs doc. and thinking how lucky we are. Then the news: a man rapes and kills a 5yo girl. Dogs, why do you bother? #
Should insert an Alluring scene at this point to break up the action, but A has nothing 2 do plot-wise. Transvestism? #sankmarray #nanowrimo #
Today in #Sankmarray: Dinnertime philosophical conversations avec threats of violence. I hope readers enjoy Rose as much as I am. #nanowrimo #

#vss Just when he thought he'd sneaked out, Suitov asked "And where are you off to with that lighter?" "Um... t-to a... concert, sir?" #
#vss She was a mountaineer. The stairs were Everest. Her mum's jingly-belled collar was a keg of rum on a St. Bernard. Airlifted to safety! #
#vss She found a red rose on her desk, and had such fun discussing which office hunk could have left it that I couldn't tell her it was me. #
#vss "Nice ass, baby," a passing Amazon said. "I can stab you through the heart in three hundred and seventy different ways!!" he shrieked. #

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-22

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:16:36 GMT

Why can't people behave logically? I shouldn't need to be a Game Theory graduate just to manoeuvre a pipe into position. #
Hans Christian Andersen, Andersen, that's me! http://tinyurl.com/qi0206 via @qikipedia #
27449 words... really need to claw more back this weekend, but not in the mood (which means I'm still at That Stage, I suppose). #nanwrimo #

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Writer's Block: Last supper

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:41:51 GMT

If you had one night left to live, what would you do? Would you prefer to spend your final night with a loved one or alone? What would you choose for your last meal?

View 1152 Answers

First off, I loathe the "live every day as if it's your last" ethos. Absolutely despise it. That's what's caused the generations previous to mine to fuck up my planet. I try to live as though I'll be stuck with the consequences of my actions for ever. It's the responsible way to behave, and the touchy-feely Sunscreen woowoo L'Oréal-I'm-worth-it brigade who think 'being yourself' is the be-all and end-all can FOADIAF frankly.

I screw up, of course, but that's what I try to live by.

With that in mind, told I'd die tomorrow morning, I'd behave exactly as I normally do. I don't want to experiment with alcohol or say things I normally wouldn't or something and then find out it was all a mistake and I'll have to live with the consequences.

Admittedly, I would probaby order a massive pizza and watch a film I love.

But before that, I'd put down all my passwords, etc, in a folder to be distributed to my heirs. I'm convinced the world will cease to exist when I do, but one must be responsible.

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-21

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:00:13 GMT

Aaagh!! Who turned my alarm clock off?! Not funny!! *heart attack, stroke, 6 ulcers and hyperventilation* #
#vss She slid expertly down his shaft and he groaned. He hated to blow it, but the explosives he'd strapped to the elevator were on a timer. #
#vss Arranged in a circle? Parallel lines? Jumbled up in a heap? No, he couldn't find a configuration that made the corpses less offputting. #
#vss Weft sighed. "Suitov, I don't WANT to know about my parents. I know all I need to: they didn't love me. Why should I care about them?" #
#vss A hurricane of curls and denim rushed in and threw her arms round me. "I love you Tim! The pig farm tip; it's true, they eat anything!" #
Gift tag: "01010100011011110010000001000010011001010110111000100000011011000111010101110110001000000100100001100101011100100110110101110011" #
Crap workday, late home (because of crap mishap alluded to earlier), but at least now I have my Xmas presents wrapped. #

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-20

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:01:46 GMT

So Habbo Hotel has a #bullyproof lounge? http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/bullyproof/ I wonder if the channers have tested that claim yet... #
"Never stumped? I was BORN on a stump! AND when we moved to a log, I had to ask Nerve for help falling off it." #
"Never stumped? I'm stumped like thalidomide! I... oh. Too much? Yeah." #
Is it trendy to hate your job? Mine's nice. Techie, public service aspect and thank dog, no bullies; school's made me appreciate that a LOT. #
You cannot beat the Rayman soundtrack for anything, ever. The Rayman OST can roundhouse-kick Chuck Norris. IT'S THAT FRAKKING GOOD. #
#vss "But what do lesbians, y'know, do?" Billy asked Sam, feet dangling in the stream. "I dunno. Rub their boobs together, I guess?" #
Right, I'm exhausted and going to bed. I woke up at 0400(!!!) this morning after taking a nap last night and, er, not waking up. #fail #
"Women are great at technology! Mine can program the oven AND the washing machine." THAT's what I should have replied... #espritdescalier #

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A quick news story about $cn in Aus...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:44:50 GMT

Senator Nick Xenophon moar like XENUphon amirite?

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Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-19

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:10:36 GMT

"I find it easier to pick up a water cooler bottle than a phone," I remark to a colleague (in sensible context). So sadly true! #aspie #
RT @bbctech: http://bit.ly/2fiamo // Namechecks Iain M Banks, yay! But speak for yourself Bill T; I plan to upload! Viva la #transhumanism #

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:18:12 GMT

BSG Pegasus is great fun, especially (in my opinion) when you're playing Gaius.

(I've only seen the miniseries, but he was definitely the favourite for awesomeness, and his powers and flaws in the game are cooooool, i.e. he is a coward more likely than anyone to betray everyone to the Cylons, but also gets to check someone's identity once per game - which, in a concealed-traitor game, is huge.)

My estimation was that the Cylon would have slaughtered everyone if time hadn't forced the humans to call it a 'draw'. Lucky for the humans.

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-18

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:06:42 GMT

I just typed someone's screenname instead of their email address. Oh dog, dementia's finally settering in. #
If you don't eat your mutt you can't have any puddy! How can you have any puddy if you won't eat your mutt?! http://bit.ly/1QdC2D #
RT @si_lumb: Every done anything in a game that was weird, twisted or immoral? asks The Guardian; fascinating comments. http://bit.ly/2yVZ7V #
Dogs vs SUVs debarked...er, debunked: http://bit.ly/4CwU3W/ (with the pawrequisite tons of puns) Pwned, anti-doggists! #
My CD eject button currently consists of an unbent paperclip. There has to be a better way. But that better way won't involve my calling IT. #

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Nona dolorosa, mate: Mutt's Weblague

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-30

*does the pirate dance*

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-29

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-28

"I found my mantra, Master Sprinter."

News and other stuff mini-trawl

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-27

Piper's correspondence: STOpp tehiss MADNesssSS

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-26

Sankmarray bloopydoo

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-25

"And this is why goalkeepers get all the puddytats" news trawl

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-24

WC reading news trawl

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-23

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-22

Writer's Block: Last supper

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-21

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-20

A quick news story about $cn in Aus...

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-19

Black Dog Twittering on 2009-11-18

does the pirate dance