Three new shortish updates since last post. I'm going for little and often so I don't lose the momentum.

In this update:

• The perennial disorganisation of genius!
• Find out what Mistake considers important enough to swear on!
• And, lots of lovely murder!

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"And don't try telling me she's suddenly discovered her maternal side, 'cause she hasn't got one."

OMG, the drama reaches lava pitch!

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taito_kisses asked me to explain these five of my userpics:

( Including some DOGGEH )

Thad taito_kisses also called me Anubis, which is... well. Supernatural, psychopomp, dog. Need I squee moar? I didn't think so.

Memes, comment for one or both:

Icons
1. Comment to this entry saying 'ICONS!' and I will pick 6 of your icons.
2. Make an entry in your own journal and talk about the icons I picked!

Characters
Comment and I will comment back with a picture of the fictional character that most reminds me of you. Then post the same in your journal.

(The second one could be very difficult for me.)

Teh Voodoo Chil'e gave me these five words she associates with me:

"Dogs, Twitter, Writing, Asexuality, Demonology"

Dogs

Why would anyone associate me with dogs? I don't even own one. Oh, wait, I know: it's because I'm completely dotty on them. Big ones, medium-sized ones, bloke ones, unisex ones, even the less disgusting of the small girly ones – you know, the self-respecting small dogs who aren't called Frippzie Bunchkin and Booflewoofles and La Teeshah and Sparkles and Pixietoes, and who don't have yellowing curly hair around their eyes and mouths, and whose eyes don't pop out of their syringomyeliac skulls, and who don't growl and foam at stray air currents. But particularly the sensible ones with big brown eyes and flopped ears, coats of smooth black or wavy gold, perhaps going a bit grey around the muzzle, who sniff at your face and decide whether it needs a bit of a lick, who smell of dog, who groan in comfort when you do their ears properly and whose back legs twitch when you tickle the magic spot just above the flank. And also the silly ones who herd their tennis ball, jump into lawn sprinklers and proudly bring you half a tree branch covered in mud.

It's not anything untoward. I just really like dogs. I miss having them in my life.

Twitter

I resisted Twitter for the longest time, but my Charming And Devastatingly Good-Looking Colleagues twisted my arm. Being someone who can't help creating in one form or another, I've gravitated towards using it for extreme short-form fiction. It's pretty fun squeezing as much detail as you can into 125 characters.

Writing

Like I said, I pretty much can't help creating, and because I'm very far from a visual person at heart, and thoroughly enjoy the feel of the English language, I write. Actually, I type: I can't write all that well. Another reason I don't indulge in other forms of creation is that I'm dyspraxic and ambisinistrous. I occasionally need help picking up a playing card or moving very small objects precisely, and I'm uncoordinated on an epic scale, and sometimes, just for laughs, I get these SUPER FUN manual tremors. Sometimes I'm fine, though.

I'm thinking of participating in this year's NaNo, if I can just get myself organised before then.

Asexuality

I've never been sexually attracted to anyone in my 27 years and have no interest in bucking the trend. No, I'm not sick. No, I don't feel I'm missing out. No, I'm not unhappy about it. No, I'm not in the closet and in denial (HA HA HA HA!). No, I'm not under a religious vow of celibacy (HA HA HA HA!). No, I don't just need introducing to more beautiful women in hats or long-haired girly geek boys who need my help. (These things are nice, in the sense that executive toys or pictures of lava flows are nice, but I'd quickly get bored of having any of them on my desktop day in day out.)

And no, I'm not going to sleep with you "to find out what I'm missing" or "because you can't dismiss something you haven't tried" or any other reeeaaallllly clever and original arguments, and if anyone is ever stupid (and blind/drunk) enough to try such a line on me I'll thoughtfully muse "you know, I guess I can't dismiss amputee fetishes without trying one. Hold still, I've got a Swiss Army Knife right here". (Y'know, besides, if I ever decide to try alcohol it'll be well-researched vintage, not any old White Lightning I pick up off a pub table, so to speak, and it'll be off my own bat, not because some genius knows what I like and it just happens to coincide with him/her getting laid.)

I will raise children one day, though. Preferably Rottie/German Shepherd crosses, or any mixture I adopt from a rescue centre. Hybrid vigour is the way to go, people. Please boycott pedigrees for a few more years until we see if the KC's new rulings (coincidentally coinciding with the BBC exposing the state of the UK's pedigree dog breeders) improve the lives of some of these poor animals.

Demonology

During the course of my earlier writings I made up some hellhounds (working on the irrefutable logic that talking fireproof dog = best thing ever), which meant I had to make up the rest of their universe (or cosmology, perhaps), which left me with some rather odd demons. There are demon hackers who do things like grow particular sets of horns to experiment with radio waves. There is an eight foot tall scaly bat thing called Fragrant Cherry Blossom. There is a hacker-geneticist called Mendel. There is a remarkably unpleasant sort called Bruce Thing who tends to get killed in quite a variety of painful ways. There are even succubi of many, many sexes and genders.

There are angels, too, which are different, and hounds of heaven, who are terrifyingly cool. Because I have a thing for ghost dogs and Wild Hunt mythology, too. Can you tell?

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Goosebumps: The Barking Ghost by RL Stine
I've read this one already: it's a children's book, and not particularly noteworthy, but has an amusingly silly twist and a bonus shapeshifting angle. Not scary for me. (Goosebumps is a churned-out series of scary books aimed at young readers. I sorta admire Stine's ability to put out so many words.)

Ghost Dog by Eleanor Allen (Young Hippo Spooky)

The Dog who Knew Too Much by Carol Lea Benjamin
and A Hell of a Dog by Carol Lea Benjamin
(These are billed as "Canine Murder Mysteries", no joke; if these two are good I'll collect the rest)

Dogs (1976) horror film

The Ghost Dog by Pete Johnson

Ghost Dog by Dick Cate

My library, let me show you it.

Reviews shall come. At present I've almost finished reading Hellhound Magic, which deserves an entry to itself.

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My favourite phrase learned today is "kuoleman koirat", which is seemingly the equivalent of hellhounds (literally meaning "dogs of death"?) in Finnish.

It's also the title of a film. One I will own.

In conclusion, vuh vuh vuh! ("woof woof woof")

(Title of entry is an attempt at "WHERE THE DOGS RIIIIIIIDE", after a Teräsbetoni song, which was originally about stupid humans, but that was clearly just an oversight. Corrections to my Wiktionary skillz are welcome.)

I seem to have become addicted to posting 'microfiction' on Twitter. This must be how they get you sucked in. #Brains.

Question: Would you like, dislike or be indifferent to seeing my Twitter updates mirrored on my blog (probably in a single post per day from some tool like LoudTwitter)?

If I found a thing that would only collect and post updates that contained certain user-defined hashtags, I'd use that for sure.

---

I get my two week placement with FM&T soon. Looking forward to it. I think they want to keep me on for longer.

---

Seen a cool video that will interest Altivo and other fur-types.

That's randomly got me looking at paw glove tutorials on YouTube. I'm not a furry or fursuiter and don't have any interest in the whole full-body itchy-plastic-fuzz deal, but I would love a properly awesome pair of paw gloves with proper pads, like so (but Black Dog, or Grey Dog, instead of Red Fox).

I saw some leatherwork gloves that are nice-looking, but far too fetishy and immobile. I'm nervous about my manual dexterity or movement being impaired in any way. (The shoes are awesome, though.)

I suppose fingerless fursuit gloves would be object-defeatist. I do like my fingerless gloves, though. Shame it's too hot at the moment to wear them.

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Slen and I played Arkham Horror round at someone's house last night. It's great fun! We had eight players plus the host, who GMed (doesn't need a GM, but it was very helpful because some of us hadn't played before). In fact we stayed so on top of things that it was really easy to win, despite the GM doing his best to, erm, 'liven things up' for us. Also, I got some odd looks from cooing in delight over the Hound of Tindalos.

During the game I went and talked to the Black Man for a laugh, seeing as my character had a sanity bonus so couldn't die during that encounter. I failed the roll but couldn't be devoured, found it much funny and didn't think much more of it.

So later last night, erm, I had some dreams.

Very, very whacked-out dreams. And I woke up with a non-existent and horrendous pop song in my head, a song that IMO could have come from nowhere but R'lyeh. It seriously took me about ten minutes to stop being very very confused. I was glad of that sanity bonus.

Am now in perfect frame of mind to have a go at fixing mum's Inspiron.

EDIT:

( Read the rest of this entry » )

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"Frerene is not a chick," said Suitov icily.

The continuing adventures of Dork Boy and Poochy

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Frerene was the only woman in the world.

The continuing adventures of Dork Boy and Panty.

I'd written half a post, sat on it for getting on for a week, and finally decided I should post it rather than waiting for the rest to occur. I still don't know where I'm going to finish this.

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Even now, in the stillness of death, the huge jaws seemed to be dripping with a bluish flame and the small, deep-set, cruel eyes were ringed with fire. I placed my hand upon the glowing muzzle, and as I held them up my own fingers smouldered and gleamed in the darkness.

"Phosphorus," I said.

"A cunning preparation of it," said Holmes, sniffing at the dead animal.

Glow in the dark pups aid science

("Critics argue it's playing god, but scientists point out that what we're looking at is in fact playing dogs.")

View the original post at HellHound.net

"Do you know any... tricks? Besides sitting up and offering a paw?"

"Yeah, loads," said Mistake. "Well, some. Well, one. Well... look, I'm a really fast learner when I want to be, right?"

Some dark-lords-in-training just can't seem to catch a break.

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"Rabbits!" he added, and ran away and stuck his head down a hole.

Hell yes there's more.

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Squee, a Basaltine pic! (safe for work)

From someone on the Jack art exchange (Kendime, for whom I drew this pic a couple of weeks ago (That wonky spine sweat-line and the foot still bother me, and as for hands, well. Good job I'm not a perfectionist. *looks around surreptitiously*)).

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The hellhound adoption saga continues with Suitov helpfully pointing out all the apparent plot holes so far.

When I considered how to approach this story, which is an alternative telling of Basaltine's version of events, I considered writing until the point at which Basaltine's tale ends and then stopping. But that really would be pointless, because, other than some divergences in detail and a heavy difference in style, they're telling the same story.

Besides, it's in Suitov's character to question everything, even when it's potentially to his own detriment, and I rather wanted to work one particular detail in (namely the dog's name. Sometimes I think if I don't use some of the random facts and backstory in my mind, I'll drive myself nuts with frustration). So on we go, and hope that I can work out where I'm going to end it before the end...

Probably ought to have named the housekeeper, because it's far more in Suitov's character to think of people by name than as 'Servant Q', but I haven't thought of a name for her yet. So it's actually me giving her short shrift, not him...

edit, 13:13 24/03: Leaning towards Bryony Navesink or Neversink. I first thought of Catriona, but that's both Gaelic and the name of a schooldays friend of mine. Oh, and I just glanced up at the big flatscreen telly that plays muted on the wall all day, and there was an advert with a brief shot of a calico kitten that had had a ball of wool put on it. SRS BZNS.

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Robin McKinley: In which it is demonstrated that there is more than one kind of hellhound

The hussy! Because, well, clearly she has been looking at my site and reading my ongoing stray hellhound story. Because all Real Authors steal stuff off random unpublished amateurs on the internet. This is known.

Nice coincidence, though. Have to admit I've never read any of her books, because they have names like The Hero and the Crown and summaries like Aerin is the only child of Arlbeth, king of Damar, and his second wife, a foreigner from the North. Aerin inherits her mother's pale skin and fiery red hair, setting her apart from all other Damarians (who are dark-haired and dark-skinned) and causing her to be feared and ostracized by them. (from Wikipedia)

Thanks to Ree for sending me the link. It can go in my hellmutts collection.

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The "original" ending to The Hound of the Baskervilles.

Quite good, if silly. The Americanisms hardly show. The various neologisms are rather more pronounced.

Also, Sirius > Betelgeuse.

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Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell is a very silly film with a very good doggie in it. It's quite schlock made-for-TV horrorish with atrocious special effects and mostly low-key acting and production, apart from some scenes ostensibly in Ecuador (complete with bowler-hatted people).

There isn't much surprise to the plot, and the acting (of the dogs) is pretty bad.

I enjoyed it.

It gets minus points for the old "woman possessed by the devil becomes sex-mad because sex is evil" trope. And minus a squillion points for equating my Barghest with Christian mystical junk, but that was a given; said so right in the title.

The DVD has won a place in my hellmutts library, along with Zoltan, Hound of Dracula. (Which was even worse.)

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I like this variant too.

Now to make a selfportrait.

New, improved default icon!

I made the old one in about two minutes, not even for this purpose, and somehow it ended up being used for years. This one's a bit better drawn.