No, I'm not talking about gay boys, although you could say I am something of a fairy in that sense (and vaguely proud of it), and also sometimes quite boring.
No, I mean the other fairies. The little winged gobshites.
So some people love cute little fairies. Some other people are into the dark, sinister side to fairies (which, when you think about it for more than a second, ARE bloody scary).
I just don't engage with the concept of fairies/faeries/fae/fairfolk on any level. They bore me and – well, they do repulse me, but in an unemotional way (since even hating or being scared of them would still be some kind of reaction, whereas they don't grab me in any way).
I suppose it's partly the "small humanoid" angle that totally turns off any sympathy, interest or engagement that I would have in abundance for any animal creature. I don't know. I've just never had any interest in fairies.
I actually stopped reading the Harry Dresden books because they degenerated into "whee, fairies fairies fairies and more bloody fairies I'm so cool, oh and just to turn Mutt completely off, let's add a knight prat who's so pure and Has Faith and wields a Magic Sword of Faith". (Well, that and it got boring seeing Harry get beaten half to death every book without fail and still pull some magic whupass out of his arse.) Shame, because the writing in the books is really pretty OK, the wisecracks are excellent and I do like the hardboiled genre.
But yes, fairies. They don't do it for me. I tend to hate anything with them in. The one exception I've found is Pratchett's Lords and Ladies, which is at least a very complete and competent treatment of the idea, explicitly drawing them as personalityless (an important angle for me) as well as the usual cruel, feline flibbertigibbets.
(Next time, maybe: why Tolkien-D&D-style elves are boring. Or maybe why prats with swords are boring. Then, that selection probably leaving basically nothing in the genre of fantasy for me to read, I'll have to think of some sci-fi things I find hackneyed.)
(Oh, and just in case: I don't actually expect other people to change their interests/writing styles based on my opinion. Hell, somebody go off and tread some genuinely new writerly ground with the idea and I promise I'll be happy you've made boringness into a topic that I can actually enjoy...)
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Part of a comment I posted to Platitude of the Day.
As someone who 'creates' by writing fantasy/scifi as a hobby, I was struck by the Bish's statement "that it is of the nature of love, whether human or divine, to be creative". (What does that say about high-fantasy authors who make up planets and then make them fight for our entertainment? Eh, Tolkien? Looking at you, Feist!)
I've had a creative urge all my life – not to pass on my genes, but to pass on my memes... you could say, to have brainchildren!
This dichotomyduality has found its way into various bits of my writing – but not as the either/or thing it is for me personally. I just like memes. And to have a culture where your ideas are your pseudo-children and are imagined to breed with other people's ideas... much more exciting than terrestrial intellectual property law, right?
(The concept of "murder your babies" takes on an interesting additional angle when it comes to a magoscientist announcing that hir theory is wrong.)
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Alluring Swiper realised now that attacking an entire crew of pirates had been somewhat ambitious.
Sankmarray: Clouded Hearts (section two of about five). © 2009 Herm Baskerville, all rights reserved.
In other words: Part Two is complete, yay!
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I'm getting pretty attached to Roseeye, the lieutenant character. Taupe likes pim a lot.
Sankmarray:CH Part Two is nearly finished in my notebook and should be typed up soon (within a couple of days; then again, I've thought that for about a week... :P).
Anyone wanting to read it, send in your feedbackz for Part One! (Unless you've already emailed me, of course.)
I'm not going to make the 50k words within the month (am just off 30k currently, not including what's handwritten), but I'm convinced the complete novel will exceed the 60k total I had vaguely in mind. After all, Part Two looks like breaking 30k, and there's much more plot to come.
THIS IS LIES
ey do knott sitt at ENNYWON's FEETE and espechialli nott HERMUNNNS!
ITT WOZ FOTO SHOPD
thatt iz aul
As of tonight, I've finished rewriting the short story I wrote last year, which is forming Part One of Sankmarray-the-Novel. Yep, the cheaty part is over. We're now in uncharted waters.
And to prevent myself from being show-stoppingly nervous about continuing to write in said uncharted waters, I made sure to write the first bit of Part Two before I stopped.
I'm now at 11,938 words. *writerly glow*
I'm aiming for roughly 2000 words a day, i.e. a 60k word book (because I hate messy numbers like 1667, and anyway Mews turned out at just over 60k, so there).
By that projected total and my current word count, I should be a fifth of the way through the story now. Since I've only just reached the end of Part One, and I don't know how long the other parts will turn out (or even how I'll end up dividing the rest of the plot outline into sections yet), I have no idea if this is accurate. It feels awfully odd that my 'short' story, with a lot of crap taken out and only a couple of thousand words added overall, is technically a fifth of a novel. But, well, to be honest, I suspect this is going to be a rather long book.
The first of two books, I remind myself...
I'll shortly be contacting the people who offered to alpha read and probably have no idea what they're letting themselves in for (er, well, Anke and Vespers probably do, so they really do have no excuse whatsoever). For the rest of you, there's a second excerpt up now at my NaNoWriMo profile. This one shows a little more of the worldbuilding, and a tiny bit of Roseeye, the piratical first mate, of whom I'm rather fond.
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Let me warn you now that I may not keep up with friends' blogs, Twitter etc this month. If you need me for anything and aren't sure I've noticed, drop me an email or wave.
First day of writing went OK...ish. I'm not sure. To begin with I'm rewriting a short story I wrote last year, which is forming the opening stages of the book. This is difficult (because details have changed and the nuances of the characters likewise), but also ought to be easier than staring at a blank page. What I'd really like is to burn through this part and get into uncharted waters.
Excerpts may be posted up, or there may be some kind of closed alpha reader scheme. I haven't decided how I'm going to work this yet.
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So, it's official: I'm doing NaNo this year (my profile), and it happens I have next week booked off from work (having had a lot of leave days to use up) to get a good head start.
My outline is shaping up but there are huge blank areas, and I'm no good at changing plots on the fly; in order to write easily, I have to have a rough outline nailed down. By tomorrow night. This is where you can help – and all you have to do is fill in the blank:
Well, Herm, knowing that you're going to write a very silly novel about pirates and ninjas (and dinosaurs and robots), I would be very disappointed if _____________ doesn't happen at some point!
When I finalise the outline, I'll make an honest attempt at working in all of your ideas that don't clash with what I've already decided. If they don't fit in the first book of the duology, they still might get into the second (particularly if they're ideas related to the dinosaur-men and the robots).
This is your chance to weasel your silly ideas into the Sankmarray Duology! You'll be doing us all a favour: me, by helping with the plot and giving me a challenge, and yourself and the rest of the world, by making it more fun to read.
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I've just caught a half-hour meeting (off the clock, of course, because I'm working a bit later this afternoon before Magers meeting) with a work friend to bounce some ideas off her for Sankmarray, my NaNoWriMo brainfoetus.
I think that went well. Ex...cept that she's persuaded me that what I have here is TWO books, not one.
She's right, I can see she's right, and at a stroke she's taken it from one not-really-ready book to one ready book and one not-ready book, but... two books is two-thirds of a TRILOGY, and... that makes you a real writer, and...
Wait a minute! That sneaky coworker! She just wants more books!!!
She also likes Taupeshank very much from my brief sketch of pim (both literal and verbal). This is good.
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- Wow, science: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8297
467.stm I thought every schoolchild knew the Romanovs had haemophilia! Ra ra Rasputin. # - Damn, Obama, don't you dare peak too early now. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8
298580.stm # - Graze are trying to win me over with pecans and honey cashews. Bam, headshot. #
- UK fruit and nut lovers, try http://www.graze.com – natural food to your desk. Use this code to get a free box: MDNP1VFL – please RT! #
- Wondering "Has this section already been reviewed, or did I just code it incredibly well in the first place?" From clues, I think latter... #
- Cannot stop listening to http://bit.ly/Xgqx6 – which is particularly stupid because I should be heading home. (wakawaka) #
- I've been saying to the cat things like "Well, you've had a good innings". You should see the look of terror on its stupid face. #
New character. Like her?
- #vss Mags sheathed her rapier and mopped her brow. Her groaning opponent staggered off. He'd hoped her offer of a workout was a euphemism... #
- #vss The perfect marriage. They never spoke; Mags led his troops; he entertained her mother. She'd met his lover. He didn't know about hers. #
- #vss Mags was a mediocre Rockaferry player, but did all right provided she could play as White. Or cheat while her opponent bought drinks. #
- #vss Her cackling laugh earned her the sobriquet 'The Magpie Countess'. Mags obliged by dressing in black and white and laughing often. #
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Three new shortish updates since last post. I'm going for little and often so I don't lose the momentum.
In this update:
- The perennial disorganisation of genius!
- Find out what Mistake considers important enough to swear on!
- And, lots of lovely murder!
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"And don't try telling me she's suddenly discovered her maternal side, 'cause she hasn't got one."
OMG, the drama reaches lava pitch!
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Letters page of Life academic journal, issue 134 [PDF]
A little background material for Profusion. >:)
(SPOT THE SUITOV!)
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Longer whinges are confined to certain times of the day and require a special set of prayers.
Hey ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
worldsong, zenicurean and ankewehner
Teh Voodoo Chil'e gave me these five words she associates with me:
"Dogs, Twitter, Writing, Asexuality, Demonology"
Dogs
Why would anyone associate me with dogs? I don't even own one. Oh, wait, I know: it's because I'm completely dotty on them. Big ones, medium-sized ones, bloke ones, unisex ones, even the less disgusting of the small girly ones – you know, the self-respecting small dogs who aren't called Frippzie Bunchkin and Booflewoofles and La Teeshah and Sparkles and Pixietoes, and who don't have yellowing curly hair around their eyes and mouths, and whose eyes don't pop out of their syringomyeliac skulls, and who don't growl and foam at stray air currents. But particularly the sensible ones with big brown eyes and flopped ears, coats of smooth black or wavy gold, perhaps going a bit grey around the muzzle, who sniff at your face and decide whether it needs a bit of a lick, who smell of dog, who groan in comfort when you do their ears properly and whose back legs twitch when you tickle the magic spot just above the flank. And also the silly ones who herd their tennis ball, jump into lawn sprinklers and proudly bring you half a tree branch covered in mud.
It's not anything untoward. I just really like dogs. I miss having them in my life.
I resisted Twitter for the longest time, but my Charming And Devastatingly Good-Looking Colleagues twisted my arm. Being someone who can't help creating in one form or another, I've gravitated towards using it for extreme short-form fiction. It's pretty fun squeezing as much detail as you can into 125 characters.
Writing
Like I said, I pretty much can't help creating, and because I'm very far from a visual person at heart, and thoroughly enjoy the feel of the English language, I write. Actually, I type: I can't write all that well. Another reason I don't indulge in other forms of creation is that I'm dyspraxic and ambisinistrous. I occasionally need help picking up a playing card or moving very small objects precisely, and I'm uncoordinated on an epic scale, and sometimes, just for laughs, I get these SUPER FUN manual tremors. Sometimes I'm fine, though.
I'm thinking of participating in this year's NaNo, if I can just get myself organised before then.
Asexuality
I've never been sexually attracted to anyone in my 27 years and have no interest in bucking the trend. No, I'm not sick. No, I don't feel I'm missing out. No, I'm not unhappy about it. No, I'm not in the closet and in denial (HA HA HA HA!). No, I'm not under a religious vow of celibacy (HA HA HA HA!). No, I don't just need introducing to more beautiful women in hats or long-haired girly geek boys who need my help. (These things are nice, in the sense that executive toys or pictures of lava flows are nice, but I'd quickly get bored of having any of them on my desktop day in day out.)
And no, I'm not going to sleep with you "to find out what I'm missing" or "because you can't dismiss something you haven't tried" or any other reeeaaallllly clever and original arguments, and if anyone is ever stupid (and blind/drunk) enough to try such a line on me I'll thoughtfully muse "you know, I guess I can't dismiss amputee fetishes without trying one. Hold still, I've got a Swiss Army Knife right here". (Y'know, besides, if I ever decide to try alcohol it'll be well-researched vintage, not any old White Lightning I pick up off a pub table, so to speak, and it'll be off my own bat, not because some genius knows what I like and it just happens to coincide with him/her getting laid.)
I will raise children one day, though. Preferably Rottie/German Shepherd crosses, or any mixture I adopt from a rescue centre. Hybrid vigour is the way to go, people. Please boycott pedigrees for a few more years until we see if the KC's new rulings (coincidentally coinciding with the BBC exposing the state of the UK's pedigree dog breeders) improve the lives of some of these poor animals.
Demonology
During the course of my earlier writings I made up some hellhounds (working on the irrefutable logic that talking fireproof dog = best thing ever), which meant I had to make up the rest of their universe (or cosmology, perhaps), which left me with some rather odd demons. There are demon hackers who do things like grow particular sets of horns to experiment with radio waves. There is an eight foot tall scaly bat thing called Fragrant Cherry Blossom. There is a hacker-geneticist called Mendel. There is a remarkably unpleasant sort called Bruce Thing who tends to get killed in quite a variety of painful ways. There are even succubi of many, many sexes and genders.
There are angels, too, which are different, and hounds of heaven, who are terrifyingly cool. Because I have a thing for ghost dogs and Wild Hunt mythology, too. Can you tell?
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What occasioned this post was a request made to me by a writing partner a long time ago. I declined the request. You'll see why. "Ten years later" is pushing the definition of a snappy comeback, but this post is really aimed at other guys who might have this idea.
John Boy, as we'll call him, had a male character. His Vision™ for his character, he'd decided one day, included two children whom the character would raise. His request: "Mutt, will you write a female character who'll have these children for him and then hand them over?"
As it happens, the idea of writing female pregnancy gets into some deep problems for me, and I never intend to do it. I don't recall that I'd mentioned this to John Boy in the past, so he gets a free pass in this instance on the insensitivity front.
However, when I told him I would never be comfortable writing a pregnant woman, his suggestion? "Maybe she's from a species where she has to breed in order to become a neuter." OK, so... forcing a transgendered character to breed in order to line des gender up with des sex? That was insensitive. Chaps, we're all pretty smart here. Let's all agree never to suggest this to a transgendered person, OK?
Anyhow, those are my personal issues and we'll lay them aside. Now here's the response I wish I'd given all those years ago, to help John Boy understand why asking any writer to make up a woman character, in order to give your man character instant children, is somewhat on the odd side.
Actually, John Boy, my personal horror at writing pregnancy is not my only problem with this suggestion. The main issue is that you want a female character whose entire purpose in life, at least from your point of view and your plot's, is to have children.
I hope even you wouldn't remain unmoved if someone in real life were to say a woman's only purpose is to be a mother... but that's what you're asking here. I have to admit, I expected better from you.
Consider also that your gay Marty Stu is going to have to force himself to sleep with this woman – or, more likely in your universe, use hand-wavey magical insemination, so that he doesn't even have to touch her – and then he will expect her to give up the children and never bother him again. This doesn't sound like an attractive offer to any self-respecting woman.
John Boy, your offer is rejected firmly and without prejudice, and I hope if you think about what I've said you'll realise why. My advice to you is to write a frog woman and have them spawn in a pond, or, preferably, rethink the plot idea that requires a woman to bear your character two children and then disappear.
We'll leave our imaginary ten-years-younger John Boy alone now. We just gave him a lot to think about. We're older and wiser, though, so here's another point for you to ponder...
Do you know what pregnancy does to a woman's body and hormones? I don't have much idea, for the obvious reason, but I know it's huge. To take one example that might cause a particular problem with this 'plot' idea, women don't always want to give up their children.
Sound obvious? But really, they don't always, even if they were OK with the idea beforehand. This is not because women are nuts. Your mother was a woman. Everyone's mother was a woman. And that's rather the point. We humans evolved to what we are because mothers have a strong bond with their weak, helpless spawn, who remain helpless for about 6 years and weak for at least 8 more. You don't put up with a burden like that unless you love it, and this is where your hormones, leaving nothing to chance, make sure you do. Sometimes they'll go wrong or a woman will feel able to overcome the effect, but that isn't predictable.
This is why you will read in magazines about women acting as surrogate mothers, who find themselves unable to give up children they've carried for another couple. Repeat, this is not because the woman is nuts, or a liar. Chances are she had every intention beforehand of carrying through with the agreement. I doubt she really wants to bring up, on her own, the child of a man who's in a relationship with someone else. Not even for the child support payments (seriously, no woman who is in touch with reality ever gets pregnant because she thinks it'll make her rich). But you can't always help whom you fall in love with.
Conclusion: women don't always oblige by breeding and then handing over their children, even if that's what your script says.
This post only is: 
licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
Attribution to Herm Baskerville with an optional link back to this page. (The author would prefer that you link to this post, in case de edits or improves it.)
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The 'short' story Roofrats, which I've been writing with Anke, is completed as of a few minutes ago. *does the dance* So I need to write a cleaner summary for the wiki page.
Conclusion: Nico and Weft make an oddly fascinating double act. But if they ever really get to talking, one suspects there will be bitchfights...
We didn't really get into the 'gang war' plot very much; it ended up being a kind of backdrop. Still, it all helped me flesh out Offwhite City and its attitude towards its penal colonies.
Yavu and Nico may return in the sequel, but we don't have concrete plans for that yet.
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The ongoing saga of - well, mostly Dork Boy in this bit.
Little Rigey, in a four-and-a-half-year-old fit of temper, had declared that he was going to be an agrochemist and not a warlord. For this, he had been barred from the library.
(I didn't want to leave it there; this would've been longer with more dog if I hadn't run out of time and needed to go zzz.)
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